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Let's work together to keep the conversation civil. There comes a stage in life when you have had a few heartbreaks and the idea of emotionally investing into someone scares you. At least, I was going through this phase. After being in a serious relationship that did not turn out as expected, the last thing I wanted to do was to step into another one. But then, there was a dilemma.
My married friends were busy in their life and the rest were having fun with their partners. Being single gave me all the freedom but somewhere, I wanted a companion as well. The only feasible solution to my problem seemed to be a casual relationship. Thanks to dating apps, I was in a no-strings-attached relationship within two weeks and happily bid farewell to my single status. The guy I liked was well-educated, fun-loving and most importantly, understood what I needed from the relationship. He was about to shift to Australia after ten months and a casual relationship was the perfect option for him as well.
We had a discussion on how we will stay honest with each other and enjoy the present without making any plans for our future. So, my love life took a new turn and every day brought a sense of excitement. We used to chat almost the entire day and took comfort in finding we had a lot in common. We spent most of our evenings strolling in the park and were equally happy spending the rest visiting the popular eateries or pubs in our neighbourhood.
We both were professionally successful and there was a sense of relief in having someone around who understood the challenges of my life. Till now, I had no complaints from my life. The months ahead were exciting as well. We went on a weekend trip, sent surprised gifts to each other at the office and made efforts to meet at least thrice a week.
We never spoke about marriage or what we expected from our future. Without even realising, he was becoming an important part of my life and maybe, this was the point when I needed to step back.
It took me six months to realise that I have started depending on him and was getting emotionally attached. This was not part of our deal, nor it was something I and planned for myself. I could sense he was more practical and had his life sorted. He was excited to settle abroad and start his new life. On the other hand, the thought of him leaving the country and not having similar feelings for me started to hurt.
I knew it was the time to turn pragmatic and take charge of my emotions. I would only hurt myself by investing emotions in a casual relationship. Maybe, I was not yet completely over my last break up and this was my rebound relationship. Without any second thoughts, I poured my heart out to him over a call and surprisingly, he was the one who suggested we should end the relationship. He was mature as always and opined what was the best option for both of us.
Casual dating did not work for me. I am an emotional person and tend to get attached to people and things around me within no time. Sometimes, I keep all the logic aside and take a decision keeping my emotions in mind. But the ones like him, my ex-partner, are emotionally-intelligent! They understand their emotional needs better and know how to get a grip on life.
That was the lesson I learned from my stint with a casual relationship—having clarity about your needs matters. To be honest, I missed his presence in my life for the next few months but the mere thought that I have made the right call gave me the strength to move on in life. But being in a relationship for all the wrong reasons can be worse. A weekly guide to the biggest developments in health, medicine and wellbeing delivered to your inbox.
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