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At 30 years old, Olive Persimmon had only had sex with two people less than 10 times in her life.

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She says the lack of intimacy made her determined to become a great lover, but it turned out to not quite be what she expected. Does my body look sexy in this position? What was that weird noise we just made? Instead of focusing on sex as a performance, Bryden recommends looking at it as playful.

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What she learned, she says, was that she had a lot of shame around sex, and a huge fear of intimacy that caused her to avoid it. After having sex with her ex-boyfriend that first time, Persimmon talked to him about her insecurities. The relationship lasted only a few months, says Persimmon, who recently got out of another, longer term relationship.

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She says the relationships taught her a lot about the importance of vulnerability and communication. If you struggle with body confidence, Nagoski recommends an exercise by Drs. Every day, stand in front of a mirror naked, or as close to naked as you can tolerate, she instructs, and write down everything you like about what you see.

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If it is the spirit in your eyes, write that down. It may be strange at first, but over time, it will help you notice all the beautiful things about your body. The list contains bedroom activities you might be interested in trying together.

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Both you and your partner will check what you are definitely willing to try, what you might be willing to try, and anything you definitely are not willing to try. The list will allow you to explore new possibilities together while maintaining boundaries.

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Sex Tips How to tune up your sex life. Your brain wants you to have sex. Here's how that works.

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July 26, Survey Says How often do the happiest couples have sex? It's less than you think.

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6 Things Women Need for a Happy and Healthy Sex Life